And please tell me what you guys thing; it sucks when I post and I only get feedback from two people
After over a year since I’ve lost my
memory, the puzzle pieces of my memory started to go back together. I
remembered everything almost everything I forgot, but the most important thing-
or person- that I forgot, was yet to be remembered this summer. Anyway, school
was difficult at the beginning, but when I started studying, everything stuck
easily in my mind, and I even remembered a few things without reading them.
Adam visited last summer, during the
winter break, and almost any chance he got. Talking to him reminded me of the
talk we had about his “white apple”, reminding me that I was yet to find mine. I
was yet to find the one who made time itself freeze. The one who cared for me
without even knowing me. The one whose eyes are more beautiful than anything
I’ve seen. The one who took my mind out of this world… The one I couldn’t
remember at the time.
I was entering
the airplane with my family, going back home. I gave the flight attendance my
flight ticket, and she pointed me the way to my seat. Since the plane was almost full,
my dad couldn’t manage to find seats for all the three of us to sit together,
but he did his best to keep all close to one another. My sister and dad were already
seated because their seats were closer to the entrance than my seat. I made my
way through the tight path, squeezing myself in between a few people. When I
finally got to my seat, I found a girl with dark hair sitting on my seat.
“Excuse me, I think
this is my seat.” I said as I showed my ticket.
When she looked up,
she gave me a little smile, “So I had to fly almost half way across the world
to finally see you again?”
I was embarrassed
because I couldn’t remember her, but I thought if she was someone I am actually
supposed to remember, someone would have mentioned her to me before, “Sorry, I
can’t remember you…”
“Oh sorry, I must have
mistaken you for someone else.” She cut me off so embarrassed that her dark
green eyes refused to meet my brown ones.
“Umm… it’s fine I’ll
sit where you’re supposed to.” I said awkwardly.
“Oh, no, I’m so sorry,
it’s your seat! It’s just that my mom said I should sit here so I could be
closer to her, but I don’t even know where she is right now.” She replied. If
her skin wasn’t dark I could have sworn it would’ve been as red as a tomato
right now, just by seeing how awkwardly her hands were moving as she got her
stuff. She didn’t even bother to move her “I LOVE LONDON” hoody, which covered
half her view.
Right when she was
about to grab her bag and move away, I awkwardly held her wrist with my thumb
and index finger, so I would stop her without making much physical contact with
her, “I really don’t mind you sitting here. My family are sitting in the front
so it’s fine.”
“Excuse me?” I heard
someone threaten behind me, and when I looked back, I realized that the threat
was addressed to me.
“Sorry am I blocking
your way?” I chocked.
“No, but you are
holding my daughter’s hand.” I didn’t realize that I was still holding on that
girls’ wrist, and she looked so startled that she didn’t move since her mom
showed up.
I instantly pulled my
hand away, “I’m sorry, there has been a mix up with our seats…” she still stared
at me, waiting for a further explanation, “I’m sorry, I’ll go find another
one.” I begged me legs to walk as fast
as possible. I was forced to bump into a few people until I found an empty seat
and sat on it. However, just when I was about to sit down, I took a quick peek
at that girls’ mom, and to no surprise, her flaming green eyes were still on
me. I was so embarrassed by my action. The mom had every right to be mad. How stupid are you Haman? You don’t even
know the girl, how could you hold her wrist without even at least knowing her?
You don’t know her name, her family, nothing about her background! I had to
fix this, it’s just something about me, I cant stand having someone take a bad
impression of me because of something stupid I’ve done. I didn’t know what to
do, other than face the mom later and apologize.
When the plane was
finally airborne, I put my head back, my head phones on and hoped that
listening to a few songs would make me forget about that awkward incident.
After a couple of hours, I couldn’t bare sitting down any longer, and since
almost everyone was sleeping I decided to walk around the airplane. When I
reached almost the tale of the airplane the green-eyed girl came up to me.
“I’m sorry about what
happned earlier, I explained everything to my mom, and everything is alright
now.” She whispered.
“Your mom has every
right to be mad, I had no right to keep on talking to you without even knowing
a thing about your background. I didn’t know how strict your mom would be about
you talking to guys.”
Her pink lips smiled
softly at me, “My name is Dalia. Now you know at least one thing about me.”
“I’m Abdulrahman,” I
smiled back. Just at that moment, the airplane bumped lightly into a cloud,
causing me to lose my balance and fall onto my knees.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
When I
lifted my head up, and looked at those beautiful eyes of hers, memories started
to flow in my head.
Flashback-
“Are you okay?” the same voice asked. I still
couldn't make out the features of the person in front of me, “I'll get you some
water, be back in a minute.” the voice said, as the person stood up, I heard
the person take one step back, then paused for a few seconds, and then sprinted
away… Our eyes locked for a few seconds, and our bodies froze as if time itself
refused to move. Neither of us wanted to stare away. There was something about
her eyes, besides their mesmerizing beauty, that was special. When I was
staring into them, I found something familiar in them, a sight that felt like
home…
“I remember you.” I
breathed. I was in shock. How did I remember this girl? I only saw her once; I shouldn’t be capable of
remembering things that happened to me during the same time as the accident.
What was more shocking was that I actually met her again, after all this time!
She gave me her hand
and tried pulling me up, but my body was too heavy for her, so I pushed with my
ankles and met her eyes, “So I didn’t mistaken you for someone else; you are
the boy I found passed out last year?”
“Yeah, I remember
now.” I whispered.
She frowned, and her
eyes dropped to the floor, “Then how come you couldn’t remember me earlier?”
She murmured.
“I kind of lost my
memory.” I said as I scratched the back of my neck out of nervousness,
realizing how my hair has grown when my fingers brushed it.
Her eyes shot back up;
stunned, “You kind of lost your memory? What? So you’ll just freak me out
without continuing? Are you okay now?”
“Be quite!” One of the
flight hostesses hushed her.
“I can’t remember how
I lost it, all I remember is my heading banging onto the ground. And I’m fine
now, but I’m just surprised that I remembered you; I wasn’t supposed to be able
to remember incidents that occurred sometime close to my accident.” I blushed a
little remembering how perfectly her straight hair went down her shoulders. I was
also amazed by how she managed to look so flawless and stay in such a great
mood after this tiring flight.
“So you are saying
that remembering was supposed to be something almost impossible?” She asked,
trying her best to keep her lips from forming a grin.
I played with my LIVE
STRONG bracelet as I looked over her a little, and then looked into those
jewels of hers; the ones she uses for sight and said, “Well seeing you again
half way across the world would be something people call almost
impossible as well.”
“Look at us, just
sixteen and we’re already redefining the impossibilities.” She giggled.
I laughed, and tried
my best to keep it as low as possible “You also somehow know my age! What else
do you know about me?”
“Well, you’ve got
perfect teeth!”
“Thank you, and
you’ve-”
She interrupted me,
“I’m sorry, but before I forget to ask,” She stopped, looked around nervously,
fixed the sleeves of her hoody; taking her time to think about what she was
going to say, “Do you still smoke?”
What? I was stunned,
my eyes widened from her accusation. How could she ask me such question? We
just officially met, so how could she ask me something so stupid? What does she
me by “do you still smoke?” When did
I even begin smoking to continue?
“What?” I tried my best
to keep my voice at a whisper.
“So you still do?” She
asked frightfully.
“What are you talking
about? When did you even see me smoke?” I was so angry at her. It’s true when
they say don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
This girl doesn’t even know me and she is already judging me and making up false accusations!
“I didn’t mean
anything by that, I was just asking-”
I cut her off, “Just
asking? Why would you even ask anyone such question?”
“Because I saw a
cigarette pack in your pocket that day when you passed out, so I thought you
did.” She replied quietly.
Flashbacks of my past
started to come haunt me. Memories that I was better off not remembering
started clamoring my head. How was I so stupid to even start? Why did I start?
However, it all made sense! It explained why I was eating so much after I lost
my memory. Why I started getting headaches when I was under stress. And it
defiantly explained why I enjoyed secondhand smoke, and the soothing feeling it
gave me!
It was ironic how all
I ever wanted was to remember my past and remember my identity; who I was
before I lost a part of my memory. It’s ironic how I looked at that accident as
a curse, even though it gave me a fresh start. I guess sometimes all it takes
is losing a part of ourselves for us to improve ourselves. Not necessarily
losing a memory, it could be losing our money, and by that enjoying and
learning from the simplicity of life. Maybe losing something so simple like our
phones could be a blessing, so we’d be more open to the things around us.
Sometimes maybe growing apart from a great friend could be better, that way
we’d learn how to keep the people who come next into our lives, however that
wouldn’t mean that if our friend is lost, then so are the laughter and smiles
we had.
There was one thing
that kept bugging me from remembering my past now. Could remembering that I
smoke lead me back to that path again?
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