One second. If I could only have one
second, I would have turned it into forever. I would have your face between my
palms, and my eyes would be drowning in your two brown topazes, which you use
for sight. If I could get another last second…
I
still remember that one morning on our honeymoon; it was our fifth honeymoon,
because every year we liked to remember how it felt like the first time we
pulled ourselves out of this world. We liked to remind ourselves how it felt
like living in our own personal universe. We didn’t use Internet, we didn’t
have cable, and we didn’t read any newspapers; during our honeymoons we didn’t
have any sort of connection with the outside world other than one phone that we
only checked once a day.
I
walked into the room with a tray in my hand. It contained two orange juices,
pancakes with Nutella on the side, two boiled eggs, and a few chopped fruits on
a plate. I gently placed the tray on her bedside table, and then walked to the
other side of bed and crawled over the bed sheets. I gave my wife a light kiss on the forehead,
and whispered good morning to her.
She slowly opened her eyelids, showing off her beautiful, and sparkling
gems. She slowly sat up, with a bright smile on her face. It was the same smile
I fell in love with just weeks after we met ten years ago, when we have just
finished college. “Good morning my love, and thank you for the lovely
breakfast.” She murmured, even though she hasn’t even seen it yet, but she knew
it was there like it always has.
With effort, she moved forward to give me a long kiss on the lips, but
her effort didn’t go unnoticed. No matter how hard she tried I have always been
able to see the pain she goes through everyday.
“How’s my favorite girl feeling?” I asked her.
“Much better.” She lied.
She says that all the time and we both know that it’s not true, and she
herself knows that she doesn’t have to explain to me the pain she is going
through because I myself can feel her pain inside me. She’s dying, and day-by-day
she’s getting weaker. However, I swear, day-by-day she is getting more
beautiful. Despite her thin falling hair, the few wrinkles on her forehead, the
dark marks under her eyes, which were due to the lack of sleep, she still
looked beautiful. When I first met her I
told everyone that she’s the most beautiful thing I have seen and that it is
impossible for anything to exceed her beauty, but I was wrong. Because as we
got older, I learned that each day she becomes more beautiful than her old self;
my wife is special that way.
I then stood up, went to the tray and placed it in front of her. I sat
by her side and started cutting the pancake for her, as she told me about the
dream she had the other night. Not a second spent with her was a second I have
regretted, and as time went by, we lied on the bed, talked about our next trip
to Oman, and how excited we both were about it. She may be sick, exhausted and
tired, but my dearest wasn’t the type of girl who would let a disease stop her
from living and that was partly my fault because she didn’t want to stop me
from living either, “I have learned to live without breathing for more than ten
years now thanks to you,” she giggled as we were lying on bed, “so a minor
disease like this isn’t going to stop my heart from beating.”
But she was wrong.
That morning was the last morning I had with her before she ended up
stretched on a hospital bed, attached to tubes and wires to keep her alive. She
was asleep most of the time, and every time she woke up I saw her sympathetic
eyes on me. She once told me that she believed that if I had married another, I
would have lived a much happier life. But she was wrong, and I insisted to her
that she was. Because never in my life did I ever experience joy and happiness as much as the time I have spent
with her. And now that she is gone, I have one wish:
One second. If I could only have one
second, I would have turned it into forever. I would have your face between my
palms, and my eyes would be drowning in your two brown topazes, which you use
for sight. If I could get another last second, I would give you one last kiss,
and make it last forever. If I could have one last goodbye with you, I will say
that I died happy. I would have died happy, because I stopped living once my
heart flew out of this life with you.
