The White Apple: ch2

    Do you know those days, when you wake up in the morning, and you just know it's not your day? Well, I had a couple of those before, but the morning of the day I started smoking, was the day I thought I’m going to move on with my life, and live just like the way I did before.

   I woke up hearing the calm sound of the dancing trees. Birds were singing by my window. The sunrays escaped my curtains to warm me. I woke up easily, feeling so refreshed.

   I grabbed my phone, to only find a text from my friend, Faisal, asking me to come over to his house to help him with his schoolwork. I rose out of bed having nothing, but one thought on my mind: ‘Today is the day I will smile, and forget about my Mom’s accident.’

   Of course, it is easier said than done. The moment I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, flashbacks started haunting me again. It was as if the mirror turned into a reality show that exposed the worst moments of my life.

  

   I scrutinized the day I got the news about my Moms’ death. I was entering our house with a smile on my face, ready to gloat about how great my History presentation went. Just when I was about to scream ‘Mom’, I found my sister crying on the black couch, her face buried inside her hands. She didn’t give me a chance to react. She started screaming words like ‘gone, over, and dead’. When she got up to her feet, and showed her face, my face turned pale. I was terrified. Hearing words like that coming out of my sisters mouth, and seeing her make-up all ruined by her tears like that. Her face was so red, her voice was so high, and her body was trembling as if she had seen a ghost. It was easy to tell she was crying for a long time.

   She finally put her arms around me, and told me the news. I froze there, tears sliding down my face. I wasn’t able to move an inch, and had absolutely no control over my body, or tears.

   Finally, the flashback ended. I drove my fist into the mirror, cracking the glass. 

   I wanted to end what I figured is going to be a horrible day. I washed up, and got ready as fast as I could, and exited the house without telling anyone where I was going.

   The birds I heard singing earlier turned to crows. The dancing trees turned into stiff branches. The warm sun turned into a burning fire.

  When I finally made it to his house, I felt my clothes tighten a little from my sweat. My face was already red, and I felt like I was going to faint if I didn’t get water anytime soon. “Come up, the door is open, and no one is home!” I heard Faisal screaming from his bedroom window.

  I made my way through the small hall, making my way up the grey stairs. I turned right, and went inside the second door to my left.

  I came in to see Faisal setting up his laptop, with a blank poster on the ground. “What’s wrong with you, Abdurrahman? You look like you just ran a marathon.” He tossed me a bottle of water, and pointed for me to have a seat. “I’m serious, man, what’s wrong with you?”

  I took some time to reply, debating with myself whether or not to tell him what was actually wrong with me. He is your best friend, I thought. I told him about what happened to me earlier this morning, and how I cant get my mind off everything that happened to me in the past couple of weeks.

  “You really want to know how to get your mind relaxed? Do you really want to feel like the way you were before, or even better? Do you want me to show you a way to get rid of all your anger and stress?” Faisal questioned me, as he started heading to his bedside table. He opened his drawer, and got out a box of cards from under a pile of junk he had. “The solution for your stress is in this box.” He said smiling.

  “In your cards box? What game are you playing with me? Are you high?” I asked completely confused.

  He chuckled. “Do you want something that I guaranty will take away all of your stress, or not?”

  I nodded.

  He stepped closer to me, showing me his fingers. “Why do you think my fingernails are yellow? Why do you think I’m always relaxed? How do you think I’ve lost so much weight last year? And no, I am sorry to break it to you, but my room doesn’t smell like this because I love burning things.”

  “Why did you even start?”

  Instead of receiving an answer, he got a cigarette out. “Try one, and you’ll understand.”

  I took a step forward, not sure if I should continue. I knew how bad cigarettes were to the human body, but I also knew they are not as dangerous as drugs like, Heroin and Ketamine. I decided to look at the bright side of the whole situation. If I do smoke that cigarette, I will hopefully get rid of all my stress and problems. I will also be able to get closer to my friends, especially since now I know a big secret of theirs. After all, I might not like it, and just stop whenever I feel like it.

  I dragged my feet toward my friend, forcing my body to act, as I want it to, and kept convincing myself that I am doing the right thing with every step I took. I took the cigarette from his fingertips, trying to show no hesitation in my eyes. He promised that it would make me feel better as he got out a lighter from his back pocket. He instructed me on how to smoke properly, and advised that I don’t breath in all the smoke at once. Plus, he showed me how to get a better taste by placing my tongue right in front of the end of the cigarette.

  “Now I guess I will have to explain to you how to get these cigarettes without getting us in any sorts of trouble.” Said Faisal.

  “No, I don’t think I will try this again, it done its job, but I don’t think I should try this again.”

  “You realize this feeling you have right now is just temporary right? You will need to smoke some more later on in the future, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you stop by five hours later asking for more.”

  “If that actually does happen, how do I get them?” I asked, hoping that I will never need to do what he will tell me.

  “Well, you will need a few things. You will need tobacco, tar, and the material to make roads with. You will need cyanide, which is a deadly poison, and umm-“

  “What! You are joking right? I am serious! How can I get me a box of these things?” I exclaimed.

  “Well, you do need these things to make yourself a cigarette.” He laughed. “Abdurrahman, for a smart guy, you really are dumb. You should learn to understand when I guy is joking with you, and when he’s not. These cigarettes will hopefully help you loosen up. “He said as he was balancing a cigarette on the tip of his finger.

  I sighed, took another puff, and then asked again, “How can I get the cigarettes?”

  “It is actually quite easy, after you get used to the whole process. You go to the cold store with two partners. You have to get a lot of similar items, so the guy at the counter will just scan the same item over, and over again without having to move, nor moving his eyes. Partner A will stand right in front of the camera behind the counter to cover partners B, and C. Guy A will also have to tap his fingers on the counter, at the opposite direction of the cigarettes stand, just so if the counter guy decided to change the direction of his view, the first thing he will turn his attention to is the tapping. Since there usually aren’t many customers at that cold store, B will have to distract them if needed, if not, then he stands by the exit for two purposes: one: look if there was anyone on his way inside; if so, then he signals to his partners. Two, distract the counter by talking to him, or whatever. All of this will be happening while C, carefully grabs a few cigarette boxes carefully.”

  I thought about his plan in my head, thought about how dangerous it is, but I guess that they have been doing this for a while without getting caught, so it is obviously working. However, I did have one question, “How come no one ever noticed the missing boxes?”

  “Oh, I forgot to mention something, the guy who works there hates us a little for playing around with the items at the store. You see, so the guy there wouldn’t notice empty spots on the rack, we usually switch the cigarette boxes with the candy looking ones, and some other items.” Faisal chuckled, “He thinks it is just a joke, and we obviously do it in front of him so he won’t suspect us of stealing anything.”

  “Even though you obviously do.” I gazed at the cigarette between his fingers.

  “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?” He took a puff, and coughed.

  “However, it is obviously hurting you.” I whispered.

  He stared into my eyes for a few seconds, “Abdurrahman, let us be honest now; can you honestly tell me that smoking is going to hurt you more than the emotional pain you’re going through right now? I mean come on, what if you do smoke one cigarette every once on a while? What can this one cigarette do to you? Trust me, if you try dealing with what you’re going through the ‘clean’ way, then the clean way will end up washing away your life.”

  I started recalling all the things I went through in my life. I reminisced all the moments that really hurt me, the ones that I will probably have to deal with my entire life. I didn’t say a word; instead, I just took another puff, and many others after that. I remember thinking that somehow, in the end, my day did turn out the way I thought it would. Somehow, smoking during that day made me happy, it made me forget, and it made me feel like I was back to how I was, and better. I remember thinking that life gives you exactly what you think of, however that doesn’t necessary mean what you want. You could wish for all sort of good things to happen to you, but that probably won’t happen if you doubt in everything and never truly believe that good things are going to cross your path, and hopefully stay for good. The funny thing is, despite me knowing that back then, I still had much more sad and depressing thoughts about myself than good and pleasant, but sometimes all it takes is a smile from a certain person to turn your life around.